5 Questions to Help Your Family Have the Estate Planning Talk

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. – George Bernard Shaw

Estate planning is a touchy subject for many families. It’s not fun to think about death, and it’s even less fun to talk about it with your parents or your children. Going about the talk the wrong way can lead to conflict, which is the last thing that any family wants. But no matter whether your family has vast amounts of wealth or only modest savings, it’s important to have a conversation about how it should be distributed and how decisions should be made. Even more important is having the proper plan in place to help care for any dependents.

To make things easier on you and your family, I wanted to use this blog post to think of a way to make the dreaded estate planning conversation a little more bearable. Asking these five questions should help spouses, parents, and adult children alike.

At The Law Office of Whitney L. Thompson, PLLC, we understand the importance of clear communication and informed decision-making in estate planning. Our Houston estate planning lawyers can work closely with families to manage the challenging and sensitive matters of estate planning, whether it involves including a Family LLC or providing for a surviving spouse. Contact us today at (281) 214-0173 to schedule a consultation and learn how we can help you create a comprehensive plan that respects your wishes and supports your loved ones.

Did You Hear About So and So?

Starting a conversation on any sensitive subject requires tact. Being blunt about wanting to have a conversation about estate planning with a parent or spouse is a good way to make sure that you never have the conversation. People don’t like to feel like they are being cornered, so it’s best to bring the subject up during regular conversation. One way to do that is to use current events as a guide. Search the local or even national news for examples of estate planning mistakes or probate horror stories (it shouldn’t be difficult to find one) and use that to get the conversation going.

What Estate Planning Do You Have in Place?

If you are an adult child who is curious about how your parents’ estate planning will affect you, learning what, if any, estate planning your parents have done is critical. Once you get the conversation going, ask what estate planning is currently in place.

Some important documents to have in place for any estate plan include:

• Wills and Trusts
• A durable power of attorney
• A healthcare power of attorney
• Beneficiary designations
• Guardianship designations, for adults with special needs and minor dependents

What Are Your Thoughts?

As a parent, you might be worried about alienating one or more of your children with the decisions you make in your estate plan. To ease tensions, ask for input from your children. This provides an opportunity for your children to express their thoughts and feelings about your decisions. 

Asking for your children’s input also allows them to voice any concerns or issues they might have with your estate plan. While you are under no obligation to change your estate plan based on your children’s preferences, understanding their perspective can be invaluable. It might lead you to consider adjustments that could preserve family bonds without compromising your wishes. Alternatively, it could reassure you that your original plan aligns with your family’s needs and expectations.

Why Did You Make That Decision?

On the other hand, if you are an adult child, don’t be afraid to ask for the reasoning behind your parents’ decisions. Openly discussing these decisions can provide valuable insights and foster mutual understanding, which is crucial for maintaining harmony in the family. When approaching your parents to discuss their estate plan, do so with respect and sensitivity. It’s important to recognize that these decisions are often deeply personal and can be tied to nuanced reasons that you may not initially appreciate.

This conversation is an opportunity for your parents to share their thought processes and the values they hope to pass on through their estate plan. For example, they might explain how they’ve allocated assets with an eye toward fairness or future family needs. Having a clearer picture of their intentions can assist in understanding and accepting the eventual outcomes of their estate plans.

Can You Teach Me to Make Your Famous Apple Pie?

Parents want to pass more than money and property on to their children. They want to be remembered with fondness. They might want their kids to carry on the family traditions. Asking for a family recipe or to be more involved in the family business not only meets these desires but can also provide an opportunity to talk about financial and legal matters.

Have you already had the conversation but haven’t yet put a plan in place? Contact The Law Office of Whitney L. Thompson, PLLC, today to speak with an experienced Houston estate planning lawyer. Our team can take the time to understand your unique circumstances and craft a plan that provides peace of mind for the future as you intended. Contact us today at (281) 214-0173 to schedule a consultation.

Questions	Details
Did You Hear About So and So?	Use stories or events to casually introduce the estate planning topic without being confrontational.
What Estate Planning Do You Have in Place?	Ask about documents like wills, trusts, and powers of attorney to understand existing preparations.
What Are Your Thoughts?	Invite input to understand preferences and foster family harmony.
Why Did You Make That Decision?	Respectfully ask about decisions to understand values and intentions.
Can You Teach Me to Make Your Famous Apple Pie?	Discuss traditions to naturally introduce financial or legal topics.

from The Law Office of Whitney L. Thompson, PLLC https://www.wthompsonlaw.com/5-questions-to-help-your-family-have-the-estate-planning-talk/